Monday, January 26, 2009

Pinewood Derby




Matthew participated in the Boy Scouts' Pinewood Derby on Saturday. He did most of the work on the car himself, and was very proud of it. There were 14 boys in his level (Wolf); trophies went to 1st, 2nd, 3rd places, coolest car, and "on my own." Unfortunately, Matthew did not get a trophy, but he did get a blue ribbon for participating. I thought he handled his disappointment extremely well, and was very proud that he did not get upset or angry. They also had re-chartering for next year, and he did want to sign up to continue in scouts, which I was very proud of. Nathan had a great time, and he is very anxious to participate some day himself -- I'm sure he'll join as a first grader! In the mean-time, Matthew is looking forward to upcoming scouting events, including his first scout camp at the end of June.

By the way, Matthew's Conner testing is scheduled for February 18. So until then, we continue to plug away with both good & bad days at school. It will be so helpful to have the answers we seek. Please pray for us.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Matthew update

Well, it took until Tuesday, but I finally heard back from Matthew's therapist with results from teh ADHD evaluation forms. Surprisingly, none of them showed a high liklihood that he has ADHD. However, he still wants to do the Conner test because that is the most conclusive one apparently. So we are now in wait mode while he gets pre-approval from the insurance company.

In the mean-time, I have started putting some of the tips from the ADHD reading materials into practice. Even if it turns out that he does not have ADHD, some of the tips have already seemed to work. For example, rewards work much better than punishments for ADHD kids. I had been in the mode of taking away things like Wii and computer time, his Nintendo DS, MP3 player and such when he misbehaved. The therapist said it actually is a bad thing to take away things like Wii and the computer, because those are the things he really enjoys doing and CAN sit and do them for long stretches (unlike things that are "work" for him). So he recommended a reward system instead. Although we still need to hammer out the details of a formal reward system (probably tying allowance into it), I have seen a positive change just by NOT taking away the things he enjoys!

Also, he struggles so much with writing in school. I read that ADHD kids usually do much better when you let them use a keyboard. Yesterday after Matthew finished his math & reading homework, we were talking about the writing, and I asked if he'd like to use the computer to work on a story. He was all over that! He literally ran to the computer and began to work on a story. He worked until supper, then after supper until bath time. He never even ASKED for Wii time yesterday! Then he woke up this morning, and the first thing he said was "I want to work on my story!" And when he got home from school today, again with the story. The only problem now is tearing him away from working on his story so he can get his math and reading done. He promised to do those immediately after supper, and he knows he will need to follow through with that if he wants to work more on the story, or even have Wii time (which he hasn't even asked about yet today!)

So, while we wait on the ADHD issue, at least we're making some positive progress. It's a start!

Saturday, January 10, 2009

Marcia's Diet Update

This is painful to admit, but I'm back in weight loss mode. After managing to lose 107 pounds and keep it off for many months, I packed on 10 pounds in the last 3 months of 2008. I sort of ended up the year by making a conscious decision to just have a good time and not worry so much about eating some extra goodies over the holidays. The only thing that saved me from gaining more was that I continued a pretty good workout regimen.

Anyway, the "old" me would have continued to gain all the weight back by falling into old habits for good. Luckily, the "new" me recognizes the importance of getting back on track, and that it's a whole lot easier to lose 10 pounds than 107 or more! So, I'm back to my healthier eating habits and have bumped up the workouts, I've already dropped 3 of those pounds, and I know those last 7 will be gone by the end of February, if not sooner. It's embarrassing to have to admit that I gained some weight, but it feels really good to know that I'm tackling the problem while it's still a relatively small one.

Anyone find any Wii Fits yet? I'd love to change up my workout routine, and am DYING to find a Wii Fit. Let me know if you find any!!

So...... in an effort to find a "weight maintenance" plan, I picked up a copy of "The South Beach Diet" a couple of days ago. The diet itself is in 3 phases, with phase 1 being a really strict 2-week plan, then phase 2 until you hit your goal, then phase 3 for life. It is a really sensible plan, as it was developed by a cardiologist for his heart patients, and was designed more to change the blood chemistry for a healthier heart, than to lose weight. The good part is, you get to a healthy weight also. So I'm just debating whether to start with phase one, which would probably bring me to my goal in 2 weeks, or just start with phase 2. Phase 1 has no bread or starchy foods or fruit at all. I can handle no bread for 2 weeks, but I like my fruit! So we'll see.

The other good thing about this plan is that people tend to lose belly fat first -- so I'm going to try to talk Mark into doing it with me. No alcohol at all for those first 2 weeks, and then wine instead of beer if you do want a drink. That would be tough on Mark, but I know he could do it if he tried. And, people have even gotten their type 2 diabetes under control on this plan and have gone off their medications -- another good reason for Mark to give it a try!

Still don't know

I'm very frustrated that I have to spend the weekend without having heard back from the therapist. When we were there on Wednesday, he said he'd put a "rush" on getting the evaluation forms entered, and call me to discuss the results. I called Thursday afternoon, and he said he didn't have them back, but should have them either later in the day, or on Friday, and told me to call him on Friday if I didn't hear back from him. I gave him until 2:30 Friday afternoon, and when I called, I got his voice mail. He never called me back.

Yes, he did explain it's a busy time of year because they see a rise in patients after parent-teacher conferences -- but for crying out loud, don't make a parent who is already on pins & needles wait through another uncertain weekend. It just pisses me off. Sorry -- no other term seems to express how I feel. I still cannot figure out why someone in that office would have sent the forms back "refused." If that hadn't happened, we'd have had results on Wednesday.

Anyway, I've already started putting into practice some of the "tips" from the ADHD information that he gave me on Wednesday, and it's very early, but I swear things are already a little better. And Matthew has even managed to string together 3 pretty good days at school. So, either way, there is a light at the end of the tunnel!

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Is it ADHD?

The short answer: I don't know yet. The horrible answer: I hope so. Yikes, I know that sounds really bad, but I'm to the point where that is what I'm thinking -- good or bad. Let me explain.

If you know our family, and the boys, you know that Matthew has always been my "strong-willed" child, while I'd label Nathan as the compliant one. Last year, Matthew did have behavioral struggles in 1st grade, but I thought things had gotten better and that the summer "off" would help. WRONG! He has been struggling mightily in 2nd grade. Not academically -- he's actually reading and doing math at a higher grade level. He struggles with staying focused, lately has had days where he flat out refuses to do the work, and has poor anger management issues. It saddens me greatly, because he is so smart, and he could do anything if he just tries. In December, he started landing in the principal's office regularly, and started seeing the school counselor twice a week. She and I finally decided that I should take him to see a therapist.

So, right before Christmas, we saw a Thedacare child therapist. It did not take long for him to utter those four little letters -- ADHD. We were sent home with evaluation forms for me, Mark, and the teacher to fill out, and I scheduled a return visit. I mailed the completed forms on January 2, and showed up at Matthew's appointment yesterday expecting to discuss the results. Well, he said he had not received the forms yet, so there were no results to discuss. He did ask some more questions and observe Matthew while we talked, and he really seemed to think that the test will end up pointing to ADHD. So he recommended the Conner test, which would be one-on-one for Matthew with a child psychologist, but requires pre-certification from the insurance company. He sent us home yesterday with some information on ADHD, and promised that he'd put a rush on the evaluation forms when they showed up.

We got home, I checked the mailbox, and there was the envelope I had sent with the forms in them -- marked "refused" of all things!! What?!?!?! I personally drove them back to the office this morning, and asked the receptionist to get them to him right away. Now I sit here and wait for his phone call.

No mother wants to hear an ADHD diagnosis for her child. Or anything with the word "disorder" in it. But the more I read, the more I think "that's Matthew!" And, there is definitely a genetic component, and I know that one of my cousins and my nephew both have it, and those are only the ones I know about. So it does make me feel a little better knowing that, at least if he does have it, there are ways to treat it, and it explains what's been going on. When you have a child with these issues, you really begin to doubt your parenting skills, so it would almost be a relief to just get the diagnosis and move on with a treatment plan. Because that is what we will do -- move on and get him the help he needs.

Yes, yes, yes, I know that ADHD can be a terribly over-diagnosed condition. But I really do feel I'm being careful, and knowing that there will be further testing to confirm the diagnosis (if there is one) makes me feel better about it. It does not help that when you google "ADHD Conner" to try to get more information on the test, the first website it finds talks about how there is NO test to diagnose ADHD, Conner was a quack, and ADHD doesn't really exist. It's obviously an "anti-ADHD" site rather than one that might be helpful to parents trying to find good resources to get helpful information. So I'll keep digging -- the truth is out there somewhere.

So for now, I sit and wait. And wonder. What if he is? What if he isn't? Either way, we are getting him the help he needs. I just want to know what I'm dealing with.

Sunday, January 4, 2009

Matthew, go get that banana and throw it at the Monkey!

Do you ever overhear your children saying the strangest things? I just overheard Nathan say this, and got a chuckle out if it. They are in the family room playing Indiana Jones on the Wii, so in that context, it does make sense. But it did give me a chuckle that I wanted to remember!

Cooking with Matthew

Matthew has always been very interested in what I'm doing in the kitchen -- wanting to help measure and stir things and such. Before the holidays, I had him pick out a recipe out of a children's cookbook I had on hand, and he choose a beef vegetable soup of all things. He actually chopped up the vegetables, and was very proud of his soup.

For Christmas, he received a Paula Deen children's cookbook, so on Thursday I told him to pick out a recipe from one of his books and we'd cook together on Saturday. He choose the Chicken Pot Pie from the Paula Deen book, and wrote out his own shopping list for our trip to the grocery store on Friday. On Saturday afternoon, he made his pot pie. He started by cooking the chicken in water on the stove, letting it cool, pulling the skin and bones off the meat, and chopping up the chicken (I helped with that part). We even made our own white sauce, using some of the broth from cooking the chicken, and it was delicious! And of course, being a Paula Deen recipe, the sauce was made with butter and whole milk. Not too figure friendly, but I was good the rest of the day, so it was okay! The whole thing came together quite nicely, and was very tasty. The only complaint he had at the dinner table was "too many vegetables." (The recipe called for 2 cans of mixed vegetables, but I prefer the fresher taste of frozen, so I kind of guessed on how many veggies to put in. I thought it was perfect!)

It's a nice time together in the kitchen, is a learning experience, gives Matthew something to do besides the Wii (ha ha), and gives him a sense of accomplishment. Plus it's true that he eats better if he helps do the cooking. So it looks like this will become a regular thing for us -- I'd like to see us cook together at least once a week.

Thursday, January 1, 2009

Pictures from Wisconsin Dells







Here are a few pictures from our mini vacation to the Dells. The snowy waterpark is the view from our room at the Glacier Canyon Lodge. It was a wonderful trip, and just the right length of time. The boys are already talking about going back!